A Question of When
by La Alien
Summary: When a new Team Go muscles in on Kim's heroic reputation, she makes a move that she may regret for the rest of her life. Post-S4.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Kim smiled to herself as she and Ron carefully navigated the corridors of Professor Dementor's lair. Apparently he'd invented an alternative heating and cooling system that made HVAC ventilation shafts unnecessary, depriving Team Possible of a popular means of sneaking in. That had been okay with Kim. She was stealthy enough to avoid detection in plain sight, too.

Ron, on the other hand . . .

"Uh, excuse me, KP."

"Aw, Ron, did you _have_ to eat that last naco before we took off? Jeez!" Kim complained, waving a hand in front of her nose.

"Sorry. Do we have smelling salts? I think Rufus just passed out."

"Just give him some air. We've got to get moving before a roaming patrol clues into that odor," Kim muttered.

Although she was a trifle worried by the fact that they hadn't needed to avoid any such patrols. Her best guess was that they were in the middle of a shift change. That was also the best-case scenario. There was also the possibility that they were walking into a trap. That was significantly less than best-case scenario.

"Hey, we're doing great tonight, KP. No traps encountered or anything!"

Kim sighed. Steady boyfriend, love of her life, great partner - but he'd always be a little more dense than she'd like.

"Let's be extra careful anyway, okay, Ron? Wade's schematics show the OMG should be just up ahead."

"He built something called an Oh My God?"

"Oscillating Metamorphing Gun. It's supposed to . . . Oh my God."

"So is it or isn't it?" Ron complained before he stopped and saw what Kim had spotted.

The oversized control room was in shambles. Men in Dementor henchmen uniforms were sprawled everywhere. Dementor himself hung suspended from the barrel of what Kim assumed was the OMG, a rope around his ankles. A control panel at the base of the OMG had been torn open, and cut wires jutted out, sparking and crackling. Whatever the party was, Kim had evidently missed it.

"I don't suppose you did all that, and I'm just now waking from a head wound," Ron suggested.

Kim pulled out her Kimmunicator. "Wade, get a look at this," she said into the device, turning it around and showing Wade the wrecked machines and unconscious mercenaries.

"Wow, nice. And in record time too, Kim."

"It wasn't us, Wade. Somebody else beat us to it."

"Sorry, Kimmie. Maybe you'll try harder next time."

Kim gasped. Ron gulped. Both turned around and discovered Shego standing behind them. "Shego!" Kim said, stunned.

"Kimmie!" Shego retorted sarcastically. "Nice pickup on the obvious. What was your first clue, the green or the black?"

"What are YOU doing here?"

"Just admiring my handiwork. Well, that and waiting to see the look on your face." Shego snickered.

"Wait, you defeated Dementor?" Kim asked. "Why?"

Shego smirked. "Because, Pumpkin, you're looking at your new competition. Say hi to Team GO."

"_Competition?_"

"Team Go?" Ron asked. "You're with your brothers again?"

"Ugh, no! It's Team G.O. The letters stand for 'Gorgeous Operatives'. I'm a firm believer in truth in advertising."

"So let me get this straight," Kim said, beginning to catch on. "You're getting into the heroes-for-hire business, like the old Team Impossible."

"Not exactly, Kimmie. For one thing, like you, I could walk all over Team Impossible with my legs tied together," Shego said. "For another, we work for free, like you. I'm loaded, Princess. I don't need more money."

"We?" Ron asked.

"I think 'Gorgeous Operatives' implies there's more than one of us, yes," Shego said, rolling her eyes. "I hired a sidekick. Where is she, anyway?"

A lithe form clad all in black appeared from where Kim had been certain there was no hiding place. "I have been here all along, Shego-san."

For Ron, Shego's arrival was nowhere near the surprise that hearing this voice was. "Yori?" he asked, disbelieving.

"Fifteen thousand dollars a month," Shego said casually as the ninja took off her mask, revealing Yori's beautiful Japanese features. "Signed a month-to-month contract with Yamanouchi with plenty of options to renew. Best damn ninja money can buy. She tells me you three have a history, although I think I could have figured that one out from the look on Stoppable's face, Kimmie."

"Yori, you're working for the bad guys!" Ron said, horrified.

"On the contrary, Ron-san. We are the good guys. We received word earlier today that this man had built a dangerous weapon which he planned to use quite dishonorably on innocent and unsuspecting people. We came here, we defeated his men, we disabled his weapon, and we left him bound for the authorities when they arrive. Shego-san and I have done nothing criminal since we arrived."

"Well, this is his property. I suppose you could say we're trespassing," Shego added.

"Oh, Shego-san, you and your American-style humor."

Ron gaped. "Hey, I thought I was the one with the American-style sense of humor!"

"Regrettably, Ron-san, having spent time in America with Shego-san, I have concluded that your sense of humor is not, er, 'all that'?"

"Please don't quote Dr. D, Yori," Shego sighed.

"Sorry, Shego-san."

The experience was so intensely surreal that Kim thought if this conversation didn't end soon, her ability to tell reality apart from fantasy would be shot. "What's your game, Shego? It's been months since you and Drakken helped with the Lorwardian invasion, and I haven't seen hide nor hair of either of you since."

"Well, Kimmie, Dr. D is so hellbent on preserving this new 'respect' he thinks the world is giving him now, that he's decided he doesn't want to be a criminal any more. I still want to beat you - "

"You've been waiting long enough, what's another twenty years?"

"Bite me, Kimmie. Anyway, I thought about looking for new employment," Shego admitted, "but let's face it. None of your other enemies are worthy of my time. Thought about going into business for myself, but who would I have to mock? So instead, I came up with this."

"This? This what?"

"Face it, Kimmie. I saved the day today, not you. How does that feel?"

"Please, no big," Kim said. It didn't stick in her craw _at all_.

"So you won't mind if I take all your business away from you then?"

"Excuse me?"

Shego grinned. "You're gonna be old news, Kimmie, yesterday's headline, a flash in the pan. The Lorwardians were your high-water mark. The word's going to get out. With my financial resources, my connections and contacts in the criminal world, my new sidekick, and with the website and gadgets Dr. D is going to develop for me, I'll be the one everybody goes to when their asses are in a sling. And you'll be back to using your website to solicit babysitting jobs. I guarantee it, Cupcake. A year from now I'll be a better, more successful world-saver than you ever were." She laughed. "And there's nothing you'll be able to do to stop me, because _I'll_ be the good guy now."

Kim folded her arms and yawned. "You're delusional, Shego. One time you finish a mission before me, and it goes right to your head."

"Oh, really? Care to make a little wager?"

"Uh, KP - " Ron began to say.

"Bring it!"

"Six months from now, we'll see who the bigger, better heroes are, Team Possible or Team GO," Shego said. "If it's me, you disband your pitiful little operation and sign a lifetime contract to work for ME, Kim. You'll be a part of my team, you'll wear the team uniform, and you'll take orders from me. But if Team Possible is still top dog, then I'll work for you. I'll even follow your directions like I never did for Drakken." She held out a hand. "Deal?"

"Kim, there's something I don't like about this," Wade spoke up from the Kimmunicator.

She ignored him. "Nothing against you, Yori, I'm sure you're a good sidekick, but we've been doing this for years, Shego. You really think that _Drakken _can hit the ground running and be better than _Wade_ in six months? Or that you can be better than me? As if!"

Shego chuckled. "Kimmie, when I'm your boss, my first order is going to be to order you to never use those sayings like 'as if' or 'spankin' or 'so not the drama' ever again. You're in college now, remember? You should try sounding like it."

That last barb pushed Kim over the edge. Any voice of caution was drowned out. This was a no-brainer. There was simply _no way_ Shego could pull this off. And then _she'd _be the one taking orders from Kim! "And MY first order will be for you to burn every green article of clothing in your wardrobe!"

"So we have a wager then," Shego said calmly.

Kim grabbed her hand and shook it. "You're on."

* * *

(six months later)

"Sign here . . . and here . . . and here . . . don't forget there. Okay, this copy is for you, and this copy will be mine. Here's your new mission clothes. I ordered a few extra, you'll need them. Oh, and Kimmie?"

Kim clutched the bundle of clothes and the paperwork to her chest, her cheeks flaming with embarrassment and anger. "Yeah?"

Shego smiled broadly and pointed to a list of phrases on her desk. "Any time I hear any of those words come out of your mouth, I'm docking your pay."

"Fine," Kim muttered.

"Fine what?"

"Fine . . . boss." _How had this HAPPENED?_

TBC

A/N - OMG, how DID this happen? It can't be! There's a (somewhat) plausible explanation for everything, folks. Stick around and find out :)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"The facilities are quite acceptable, Kim-san," Yori explained. "Drakken-san has said that this used to be one of his 'lairs'."

"I know, I was here before," Kim grumbled.

"Ah, of course, yes. Well, Shego-chan has made a great deal of renovations. I have my own quarters for the sake of convenience, which are more than satisfactory. I believe Shego-chan has arranged quarters for you as well, although I realize you are living at your parents' home while you attend college. I'm sure there is no requirement that you reside here, Kim-san."

Kim wasn't so sure. She was working with the assumption that in any situation where Shego could choose to make her life more or less difficult, she would choose "more difficult" every time. "When did you switch from calling her Shego-san to Shego-chan?"

"A couple months ago," Yori admitted. "Shego-chan took a great deal of getting used to, but we have learned to work together very well, and she has always been fair to me. She says that she greatly respects competence and professionalism when there is so little of it in the world. I would consider Shego-chan the closest friend I currently have in America, Kim-san, although of course I hope to renew our acquaintance now that we will be working together. And Ron-san, naturally."

"I hope we can be friendly too, Yori," Kim agreed, although she was still livid that she was in this situation. She wasn't sure HOW friendly she could be with a woman who called Shego her friend, not to mention a woman who at one time had exhibited clear feelings for her boyfriend.

"There are two other people who work here," Yori continued. "Of course you know Drakken-san, our resident 'nerdlinger'. I am still unsure as to what Shego-chan means by that."

Another relationship Kim wasn't too keen on renewing.

"And Shego-chan has employed a young woman who functions as a part-time receptionist. We receive mission requests by phone as well as by website, and it is Miss Rockwaller's primary job to weed out the - Kim-san?"

Kim had stopped walking. "Miss Rockwaller? Miss _Bonnie Rockwaller_?"

"You know her as well? Was she another of Drakken-san's sidekicks? I was unaware of any prior history between them."

"Is she here now?"

"I - believe so. But would you not like to first see - "

"I - want - to - see - Bonnie," Kim snarled.

Yori paled slightly. "Of course, Kim-san."

They turned right just as Yori had been about to turn left. As they headed in the direction of what Kim believed was the entrance, she could already hear someone talking ahead. The sound of her voice grated on Kim's few remaining frayed nerves, like a candle burning through the last strands of a rope in a deathtrap.

And if this situation wasn't a deathtrap, she didn't know what was.

* * *

(five months and one week earlier)

Even though Drakken and Shego had observed a truce since the Lorwardians attacked, and even though Kim and Shego hadn't been quite so antagonistic toward each other in the months prior as they used to be, the sudden appearance of the black-haired thief at Prof. Dementor's base had pushed Kim's buttons. Shego had seemed as smug and insufferable as ever, and Kim was upset that Shego couldn't just let go of the rivalry when she had the opportunity. Kim had accepted her insane wager because she was angry, and because she hoped that Shego would figure it out for herself that this was a no-win game she was playing at.

A lot of that had been predicated on the theory that Team GO couldn't compete with Team Possible. To think otherwise would contradict years of experience. Drakken wasn't the technological genius that Wade was, and Shego wasn't the fighter and leader that Kim was. She knew very little of Yori's expertise, but even the ninja herself would have to admit that she wasn't the Monkey Master that Ron was. And the teamwork! Shego couldn't say a nice thing about Drakken to save her life!

Ergo, this would be like the first-round game between the No. 1 and No. 16 seeds during April Anxiety. And you know how often the No. 1 seed lost? That's right, they didn't.

Six missions later, Kim grudgingly acknowledged the flaw in her reasoning. Team Possible and Team GO weren't competing on the battlefield. This wasn't a test of fighting skills, or techie know-how, or leadership. This contest would be decided by one simple factor - who would get to complete the mission first?

Six straight times, that was Team GO.

"What the hell are we _missing _here?" Kim snarled, throwing the Kimmunicator so hard that if her aim had been a little different, it would have put a hole in the wall instead of bouncing harmlessly off her pillow. "There has to be a simple, logical explanation for why every time we go on a mission, Shego's already completed it. It's no coincidence that they're poaching on our missions. They must have some kind of inside information!"

The Kimmunicator landed face down, and Wade's response was muffled until Ron righted it. "Well, it's not through the website. I've tested every security protocol on the site a dozen times. There's absolutely no sign of anyone hacking into the site."

"She said she has all those underworld connections," Ron reasoned. "She must have people inside every criminal organization tipping her off."

"Oh? And who does she have inside Monkey Fist's camp, huh?" Kim asked angrily. "Monkey 1 or Monkey 2?"

Ron shrugged. "Okay, you got me on that one, KP. What's your answer?"

"I - don't have one," Kim grumbled. "Wade, what about our rides? Any chance they're tipping Shego off?"

"What's the incentive for them? The reason they're giving you a ride in the first place is because they owe you. Why stab you in the back at the same time?"

"Then how about the crooks themselves?" Kim suggested. "Maybe this is all a big front. Maybe they're setting themselves up to make Shego look like the good guy, and after people start trusting her - wham! She gets you from behind."

Wade and Ron looked at each other. Or rather, Ron looked at the viewscreen and Wade looked in his direction. "It's possible," Wade admitted. "You did make that bet with Shego."

"Don't remind me," Kim groaned. God, if Shego managed to _win_ . . .

"If Shego wins the bet, you work for her," Wade continued anyway. "That'd certainly make the villains' lives easier. Enough to take the fall for six months? Maybe so."

"Shego can't think I'd work for her if she became a villain again," Kim said.

"None of this matters if we can just figure out how Shego's beating us there in the first place, and turn the tables on them," Ron pointed out.

"And if Shego really is getting her information from other criminals," Wade added, "that well is going to dry up a lot quicker than six months when they realize she's working for the other side."

Kim nodded. "You're right. You're both right. Shego was always short-sighted, too aggressive, too fast. She won't be able to maintain this over the long run, and once that happens, it's over."

"And then Shego's the one losing her pants on missions," Ron said.

"Okay, first of all, I'm pretty sure her pants are connected to the rest of her outfit, so ew. Second, I'm not making her my sidekick," Kim said.

"But you wagered - "

"I know what I said. But I'm certainly not going to compel someone to take orders from me on a stupid bet! Shego's not the same person she used to be. I'm sure she'd tell you the same thing."

* * *

"Bonnie-san?"

Bonnie Rockwaller looked up from her computer, a headset connected to one ear. She took one look at Kim and her eyes grew wide. "No way," she said.

"Kim-san will be working with myself and Shego-chan from now on," Yori explained.

"She's working here?" Bonnie noticed the clothes in Kim's arms. Then she smiled. "So, Kimmie, I guess somebody's not captain of the cheer squad any longer."

"Shove it, Bonnie."

"Ooooo, somebody's learned harsh language in college!"

"How the hell did you end up with this job, Bonnie?"

Bonnie shrugged. "Shego recruited me a few months ago. Thirty thousand a year for eighteen hours a week? I'd say it's worth only having a social life on Saturday nights. Besides, it keeps me away from my sisters."

"Shego _recruited_ you?"

"Mm-hm," Bonnie said thoughtfully. "Never knew why - until now. I guess she knew you'd be working here eventually. She must really not like you, huh?"

"Tough talk from the _secretary_," Kim retorted.

Bonnie scowled at her, but then her computer chirped at her. "Hold on, e-mail from the boss lady," she said. She looked at her computer for a few moments, then cackled and activated her printer. "Yeah, she _really_ doesn't like you, Kim."

_What now?_, Kim thought. Taking the printout Bonnie was handing her, she saw it was a chart showing Team GO's organizational structure. Suddenly the paper crumpled in her hands.

Bonnie's name was above hers.

TBC

A/N - I'm starting to realize how much fun I can have with this. Also, Kim wouldn't be doing this strictly because she lost a bet. She has reasons which will be explained.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

(one month before present)

Dr. Betty Director looked out what _would_ have been her window, if her office hadn't been underground. Instead she stared at the wall, back ramrod straight, her hands clasped behind her. "Everything makes more sense now," she murmured.

Kim sat behind her in civilian clothes, fidgeting with the bottom of her shirt. Dr. Director had asked to speak with her in private. The ongoing situation with Team Possible and this new "Team GO" had bothered her immensely, and Kim's insight was deemed necessary. Certainly _Shego_ wouldn't accept an invitation to meet with the head of GJ. Certainly _Dr. Director_ wouldn't issue one.

Oh, that's right. Maybe they would. The boys in the Psych department were still trying to agree on what had been happening.

"So let me get this straight," Dr. Director said, turning to face Kim again. Then she paused. She could see the shame written on Kim's face, already waiting to be lectured on her shortcomings, and for the first time she relaxed her posture. "After everything you've told me today, you know I don't respect you any less, Kim."

Kim looked up, and Dr. Director knew exactly how the young woman felt. A fellow Type-A personality, driven to succeed, determined, ambitious - if this had happened to _her_, she'd have been rocked to her core. "Why not?" she asked plaintively. "I haven't been on a successful mission in almost two months! Before that, the only reason we completed a mission was because Shego was half a world away completing one of her own, a bigger one! Wade says the traffic on my website is down seventy-three percent! I'm only eighteen, and already I'm becoming . . ." Kim's face twisted. "Shego said I'd be old news."

"So?" Dr. Director asked. "Have your physical skills atrophied? Have you been spending the past five months on your couch?"

"Well, no," Kim admitted. "I've been practicing a lot, more than I used to. I guess because I got so much exercise in the field. I don't feel like my fitness for this life has diminished, no."

"There you go then," Dr. Director replied.

"Go where?!"

"Just because Shego keeps beating you to the punch doesn't mean you're an inferior warrior, or hero, or leader of men and women." She paused. "It just means that Shego has some kind of instant access to information, seemingly more instant than your friend Wade and the Internet itself . . . and that fact troubles me very much. Kim, you've told me about this wager, that Shego is expecting to win your services one month from now if Team GO becomes the group all individuals and private organizations look to in a crisis. At this rate, that is going to happen. What are your intentions at that point? Will you uphold your end of the bargain?"

Kim looked revolted. "Ugh, no!" She paused. "Well, not the working for Team GO part, anyway. There won't be a point to Team Possible at that point, so I'll probably take the site down and - I don't know after that."

Dr. Director nodded, then sat down. There was an obvious move here for her to make - offer Kim and Ron positions with Global Justice. That had been a very real possibility for some time now, and of course, now more than ever. GJ did so much good in the world, good that neither Teams Possible nor GO worried about. Kim especially could be a Senior Agent by the time she finished college. That was the obvious approach.

But Dr. Director, as she so often did, saw a better way.

"Is there a way you could convince yourself to join Shego after all?" she asked quietly.

Kim looked shocked.

"Because if you could," Dr. Director continued quickly, "then within another six months, Team Possible could very well be back in business."

"What? How?"

"As I've said, I'm extremely concerned about Shego's almost supernatural ability to know about your missions as soon as you do. You say you've ruled out every possibility you can think of, which means Shego may have some unimaginable resource at her fingertips. A surveillance method undetectable by all modern means, perhaps. A new and very powerful psychic we don't know about."

"Psychic? Wait, you mean they're real?"

"Of course. At any rate, for now Shego is only using this new ability to interfere with your missions - that we know of anyway. Who knows what other information she may be gathering behind the scenes?" Dr. Director wondered. "Could she be manipulating financial markets? Listening in on top-secret government meetings? Kim, without knowing what Shego has at her disposal, my imagination is forced to come up with possibilities, each more alarming than the last."

Kim's eyes widened. "You want me to spy on Shego," she realized.

"Essentially, yes." Dr. Director permitted herself a smile. "In effect, I am giving you an opportunity to do what you've been denied for the past five months. You will be matching your wits directly against Shego's. You can have that victory you've been craving all this time. Actually, I'm a bit surprised you hadn't thought of this yourself."

Unfortunately, Kim had been so focused on how things were going wrong, and on the notion that she might actually lose her bet with Shego, that she'd never even considered it. Her newfound pessimism, however, reared its ugly head. "Shego could also know about our little discussion, you know," she pointed out.

Dr. Director spread her hands helplessly. "What else can I do but hope she doesn't? Give up? No, I don't think so. And the Kim I know wouldn't give up either. She would never concede victory to Shego. Is Shego better than you?"

"I never thought so before."

"Stick with that belief, Kim. I'm asking you as a favor. Together you and Ron can infiltrate Shego's - "

Kim interrupted her by laughing humorlessly. "Ron wasn't part of the wager. Trust me, Shego will have no interest in adding Ron to her team."

"Hm. Really?"

"Like I said, trust me."

"I see. Well then, are you willing to tackle this alone then?"

Kim thought about it for a minute, but Dr. Director knew before she even opened her mouth. She could see by the determination in her eyes and her brow. "I'll do it. I won't like it, but I'll do it."

"Excellent. However, I do ask that you not repeat this conversation to anyone. The more you do, the more likely it is that Shego will get wind of it. Are you all right with not telling Ron or Wade that you'll be a GJ mole?"

" . . . Well, I'll just have to add it to the things I'll do that I won't like."

* * *

Kim really, _really_ hoped Dr. Director's psychic theory was incorrect, because her memories of that fateful meeting with Dr. Director were at the forefront of her mind right now. Everything had worked out as Kim expected. By the end of the six months Team Possible's site was turning into a ghost town. Those few requests they still got weren't worthy of her time. Meanwhile, Shego had spent millions refurbishing one of Drakken's old lairs and transforming it into something Team Possible never had, an official headquarters. When Dr. Director asked Shego to assist GJ on a particular mission, Kim had pronounced the team dead. Betty had promptly extended offers to join GJ to all three, promising a greater degree of autonomy than most GJ agents and the chance to continue working together as a team. Ron and Wade eventually accepted, thinking Kim would do the same.

Of course, Kim didn't. She told Ron that she wanted to do good again, but that she couldn't become just another cog in an organization, even one like GJ, after years as an independent. She also said she wanted to keep an eye on Shego, in case she decided to show her true colors during a mission.

Ron hadn't been very understanding. He thought Kim was making a mistake and delivering herself up to Shego's tender mercies. He also saw that this meant a lot less time together for the duo. Kim also suspected that on some level, Ron saw it as a rejection of himself when she chose Team GO over partnering with him at GJ. She thought that might be why there were strains in the relationship that hadn't been there before.

Right now, Kim would have _loved_ to be in a mission briefing, even a colossaly boring one given by Will Du, as long as Ron was by her side. That would definitely beat the current situation. The latest indignity had come a few moments ago when Bonnie had decided she needed a bathroom break, and instructed Kim to monitor the phone while she was gone. Unwilling to give any opportunity to Shego to punish her for "disobedience", Kim had to comply.

There _was_ one positive to this, though. One of the two phones on Bonnie's desk was red. "That's the Hotline," Bonnie had explained. "If that rings, you answer it, even if you're on the other phone with someone else. That line is reserved for members of Shego's information network. You listen, you write it down, and you bring it to Shego right away. Think you can remember all that, Kim?"

Kim had smiled sweetly. "Yes, thank you." _Yes, fuck you._ Ten minutes, and already she was closer to the truth than she'd been before. If she could just drop by Bonnie's desk every now and then . . .

Her eyes narrowed. Odd that the phone wasn't in Shego's private rooms. Why Bonnie's desk when she'd said she only worked eighteen hours a week? What happened if someone called during the other one hundred and fifty?

A ruse, Kim decided. Either Bonnie was in on it, and they were playing with Kim's mind specifically, or Bonnie _wasn't_ in on it, and Shego was trying to maintain the illusion that her information came from spies and paid informants, a theory that she'd already discounted.

This wasn't going to be easy, Kim saw. But then victory would be all the sweeter.

"Well well well. If it isn't Kim Possible. What a surprise - not!"

Kim sighed. "Drakken," she grumbled. _Where's your yellow submarine, Blue Meanie?_

Drakken sneered at her. "How does it feel knowing you'll be taking orders from me for now on?"

"Actually, I'll be taking orders from Shego."

"And whose evil sidekick is she? Mine, remember?"

Bonnie's computer pinged. An instant message window appeared. NO, I'M NOT.

Kim smirked and swiveled around the monitor so he could see.

"Hm, never can tell when she's listening," Drakken muttered. "Still, I'm sure you have to take orders from me too!"

Ping. NO, SHE DOESN'T.

"But she takes orders from the secretary!"

YEP.

"But why?" he whined.

THAT WAS FUN AT KIMMIE'S EXPENSE. THIS IS FUN AT YOURS. WIN-WIN.

"Gah!" Drakken exclaimed, while Kim allowed herself a brief instant of gratitude. _At least she's not trying to make my life absolute hell._

KIMMIE, TEAM GO MEMBERS ARE EXPECTED TO WEAR THEIR UNIFORMS ON GO PROPERTY.

_Then again . . ._

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Kim looked at herself in the mirror. She was surprised it didn't crack from the fire in her glare. It was too early to know how many times she'd have to dress in a catsuit that looked exactly like one of Shego's. The only difference between herself and Shego below the neck, regretfully, was that the former thief had more curves.

It was the first time she'd been wearing one of these since the mind control incident years ago. She didn't like it any better, even though this time she was technically wearing it of her own free will. Nobody forced her to sign the contract. In fact, Kim had refused until Shego added an additional provision, smirking the whole time.

"Undersigned shall not be compelled to engage in any illegal activities while an employee of the Company. If other company employees engage in illegal activities, undersigned cannot be compelled to hide her knowledge of said activities, and may notify the proper authorities at any time."

"Finished yet, Pumpkin?"

Kim jumped like Shego had goosed her, rather than simply spoken from outside the door to the spartan living quarters which Kim only planned to use as a storage room. "Yeah, I'm dressed," she grumbled.

"Then come on out. Grasshopper went out. I'm showing you around the rest of the place."

_Grasshopper? She must mean Yori. It'd kill her to go without assigning a nickname to everyone._

Shego smiled slightly as Kim came out. "Not bad. It fits you. Not my fault you don't have much in the way of - assets."

Kim glared back. "Say, do you still have that pink apron?"

"Touche," Shego muttered, a flash of irritation touching her eyes for a second. "Let's go, Pumpkin."

"My name is Kim."

"Your _codename_ is Pumpkin."

Kim blinked. "My what?"

"All Team Go members use codenames during missions. Yori has to keep her identity a secret - some Yamanouchi rule - so I assigned her a code name. Seems only fair that you get one too - Pumpkin."

"We're not on a mission right now," Kim said, seething.

"Thought you should get used to answering to the name, just like Grasshopper. Would you rather be Princess?"

"What's your codename?"

Shego chortled. "You don't really think Shego's my real name, do you?"

Kim flushed. "Well - we were never entirely clear on that. So what is your real name?"

"Maybe when we're friends. We're not friends yet, are we?"

"Doy."

Shego grinned. "No dipping into your teenager vocabulary yet. I'm impressed."

"Speaking of Yori," Kim said, "I've seen her on missions dressed entirely in black. I thought we had to wear these uniforms during missions."

"Yori has custom-made suits that can change from green-and-black to just black, and then back again. So do you, in fact. Just press the button on your waist." She paused, waiting to see if Kim's hand moved. "I'll let you know when you're allowed to use it," Shego then added evilly.

* * *

"There you go, my good sirs. One battery jumped," Ron said proudly. "Hopefully your van will last until the next town."

"We can't thank you enough, Officer," Randy replied.

"Well, it's 'Agent', actually," Ron corrected him. His uniform was blue. It was an easy mistake. "I'm with an independent law enforcement agency, not the police. If you guys are going to be heroes, you need to be able to tell us apart."

Ron couldn't see Randy's face behind the mask, but the way Randy cocked his head, he must have been confused by something. "Heroes? We're no heroes. We're a rock band."

"Oh, oh! But I thought, you know, the capes, the masks. I thought the Rockets were your sidekicks, Randy."

"Nah," Randy said, his thick accent marking him as a Brit. "We're just doing a little tour, hitting some bars, have a good old time like the old days."

"Old days?"

"Er, nothing. Thanks again, mate."

"Sure thing, Randy. By the way, have we ever met? I can't see your face, but your voice is _really_ familiar."

"Uh, no, no, I can't say we have."

"Because I used to work with Kim Possible. Maybe we saved you once. Nobody remembers the sidekick," Ron mentioned with a trace of bitterness that wasn't normally there.

"Honestly, I don't think so. Look, we've got a gig and - "

"Say no more! I'll be on my way. I'm on a schedule too, you know. First day on the job. Good luck!"

"Thanks, Ron." The three Rockets waved but said nothing. Quiet bunch for singers, Ron thought. Maybe only Randy sang.

As Ron drove off, one of the Rockets glared at Randy. "I told you this wasn't going to work, John."

"Shut it."

"Sure, they can't see our faces, but I think they just might recognize our _voices_."

"Shut up, Paul!"

* * *

"And these," Shego said casually, "are my living quarters."

Kim swallowed. "They certainly are, um, spacious. Is that a tanning bed?"

"One of the many benefits of the comet, Pumpkin, is the high resistance to ultraviolet radiation. Just call me melanoma's worst nightmare."

"Is that another one of your code names?"

"Cute, Pumpkin."

Kim's eyes were wide as she took in the Picasso she suspected was not a print, the shelves of pre-Colombian and African art, and the indoor Jacuzzi, but she wasn't so much gawking as she was cataloging. However Shego was getting her information, the key could very well be in her private rooms. Anything here could be that key. She narrowed her eyes at the two closed doors. "What's behind those?" she asked.

"The bedroom, and my private bathroom. Nobody, and I repeat nobody gets to use that. The bedroom, well, only if they're very lucky." Shego batted her eyelashes at Kim and laughed.

_Ugh!_

"Take a load off, Pumpkin," Shego said as she headed for her bedroom door. "Enjoy the leather couch. I need to change."

Into what, Kim didn't know. In her years of experience, Kim had only seen Shego in three kinds of clothing. Work clothes, swimsuits, and evening wear. Somehow she doubted it was the latter two, and Shego was already wearing her catsuit.

All Kim knew was that Shego had unwisely granted Kim the chance to snoop around. Or was this another possible false front, like the Hotline?

Kim made a quick sweep of the area. There was no safe behind the wall painting. None of the African masks or animal statuettes were actually hidden levers. The couch was just a couch (although she did find a quarter).

That left the extremely private bathroom.

Glancing at the still-closed bathroom door, Kim darted over to the bathroom and opened the door.

An insistent _brrrnggg-brrrnggg_ immediately started, and Kim hurriedly closed it again. The alarm went off. She put a security buzzer on her _bathroom_? How paranoid was she?

Very, Kim decided. She'd had one second to notice the sink, the shower stall, the toilet, and the stack of newspapers next to it. It looked like a very ordinary bathroom. Either Shego was compulsive about clean bathrooms, or it hid a secret that would need further investigation.

"Figures you've got a small bladder."

Kim spun around. "Shego, uh - I thought you had to change."

Shego looked down at herself. "I did."

"That's the same outfit!"

"The other one was dirty and sweaty. I like feeling clean."

"Going to confession might help with that."

Shego glared at Kim. "I'm not sure where you get off trading insults with your _team leader_, not to mention invading her private property."

Kim opened her mouth to respond, but Shego beat her to it. "Chill out, Pumpkin, or you'll be the 'decoy' on all our missions for the next month. I bet you'd like that, being the distraction after all those years of having the buffoon do it for you."

_One - two - three - four - _

Unclenching a fist, Kim exhaled, defeated. "Sorry."

"Sorry _what_?"

"This isn't a mission."

"For just this moment, it is."

Kim folded her arms and sighed. This would only be temporary. "Sorry _Boss_."

Later Kim reflected that if she'd known at the time she now had all the clues she needed to solve the mystery, she would have felt a lot better.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Agent Stoppable?"

Ron looked up from his desk. If only he'd known the job involved so much paperwork! "Hey, Dr. Director. What's . . . " He suddenly remembered that this was not "that woman who sucked KP down a tube for a mission". This was "the boss of the boss of the boss of my boss". He launched to his feet. "I mean, uh - YES, DOCTOR - do I salute now?"

"I'll accept a degree of informality from you," Dr. Director replied, knowing that it would be hopeless and counterproductive to demand that Ron Stoppable assume the demeanor of, say, Agent Du. "There's a newscast that I'd like your input on."

"Don't you have analysts who are much better at, um, analyzing than me?"

"I think you can add a personal touch here, Agent."

Ron's stomach sank. _Gee, who do I know that would be on the evening news?_

He followed Dr. Director to the nearest control room, where she gave the order for a news transmission to be broadcast over the main screen. Ron choked when he saw Kim caught in the glare of the cameras, standing _behind_ Shego and wearing what appeared to be one of Shego's signature suits. A third woman next to Kim had her face covered except for the eyes, but it didn't improve his mood knowing it was Yori.

"Stopping Killagan was a breeze," Shego was saying offhandedly. "But I didn't see much. I just allowed the sidekicks here to create a distraction and take care of the hired muscle and the deathtraps, while I slipped inside and dismantled the device. Kimmie here can tell you guys more." She turned her head. "Oh, Pumpkin?" she asked sweetly. "Would you mind describing what happened inside?"

Dr. Director hovered at Ron's shoulder as the reporters focused on Kim Possible. "To the untrained eye, I'd say she conveys a professional demeanor. Wouldn't you say, Ronald?" she murmured. "But to those of us who know her . . . "

Ron didn't respond. He supposed that a total stranger might not see it, but he did. To Kim's longtime best friend, the signals her eyes and her body were giving off were like neon lights. _Get me out of here, I don't like this._ It got worse as the media didn't let her finish, instead pressing her with questions like "Is it true you're Shego's sidekick now?" and "How does it feel working for your former archnemesis?" Ron had a vague notion that if he gritted his teeth any harder, the sound he heard would be the enamel cracking.

"I need to know, Ronald," she went on. "Surely you must have some idea as to why she would accept what appears to be torture, rather than come to work with GJ."

"She said she couldn't be part of a bureaucracy," Ron muttered. "And that she had to keep an eye on Shego in case she, you know, went too far."

"Do you believe her?" Dr. Director asked. "This role reversal must be humiliating for her. I'm sure her separation from you isn't easy either."

"KP has never - well, almost never lied to me," Ron said. "If she says so, then it must be true. I just - I don't know how to feel about it. It's bothering me to see her so uncomfortable up there. But I have to ask myself why it's still preferable to working here with me!"

Dr. Director nodded, satisfied. Clearly Kim had not told Ron about their conversation. As long as it remained a secret between them, then there was a chance Kim could pull it off. And in the meantime, she got to observe how Ronald dealt with adversity and worked with others. He might even enjoy himself there. Who knew? Perhaps when this Team GO problem was resolved, maybe Team Possible would be reunited, but under her jurisdiction. To have their exclusive services - well, anything was possible.

* * *

Burnproof container - check.

Lighter fluid - check.

Matches - check.

Outfit . . .

Kim looked at the green and black bundle in her hand, and she felt a shudder crawl slowly up her spine, hand over hand. She didn't care if Shego would "dock" her for this. As Shego had pointed out, Kim had multiple copies of her uniform in the closet space she'd been provided. She could afford to lose one.

She could afford to _burn_ one.

Kim tossed the tight suit into the container and began liberally spraying it with lighter fluid. She supposed there were quicker, easier ways to incinerate something - like, say, an incinerator - but she wanted to see it char. She wanted to see it cease to exist.

The media circus today had been a nightmare. Kim Possible, world-saving heroine, had been reduced to taking orders from the woman who replaced her, who just happened to be her biggest rival. A fall from grace in only six months. The press had swallowed it up, and Shego just smiled and shoved her in front of the cameras where she couldn't get away without looking like a bigger fool.

"Is this another new look for you, Ms. Possible?"

Yes, this particular outfit had to go. Looking at it would forever dredge up the memory of being tortured by a million tiny bites without shedding a drop of blood. The camera lights had seemed harsher, the smiles had looked like smirks, and the crowd of reporters had pressed almost menacingly towards her. _String the fraud up!_

Kim shuddered again, took a match, lit the entire matchbook, and tossed it down. The suit flared up and began to burn immediately. Acrid smoke quickly made her take a step back. It was a good thing she'd moved this outside, or the sprinklers would have gone off in a hurry.

Shego might think this had marked her final victory over Kim, but she had sworn bitterly. Whatever it took, Kim was going to find out how Shego had driven her to this point.

And with that information, Kim was going to ruin her.

When the container held nothing but a blackened, greasy mass, Kim disposed of the remnants and put everything back where she'd found it. Then she headed for Shego's quarters. An answer had to be there, specifically behind one of those two closed doors. The bedroom was the likelier of the two. The trick would be getting in there.

Kim could be tricky.

Getting into Shego's quarters in the first place was simple enough. Shego had given her access, probably so she could flaunt her success and easy living in Kim's face. When Kim arrived, a red light over the second door told Kim that Shego was using the lavatory. This time, Kim did more than look around while she was waiting. Instead she pulled out her old Kimmunicator and used the camera function to take pictures of as much of the room as she could. There might be a clue she could uncover later, perhaps a secret door. She paid special attention to Shego's collection of ancient artifacts. The stolen antiquities market was enormous, and a career thief like Shego could easily have acquired her art from the black market. Maybe she could be nailed with that. All pictures would also go to Dr. Director at the first opportunity.

The light over Shego's bathroom door went off suddenly. Kim raised an eyebrow and put the device away as Shego came out, wiping her hands. "Forget to flush?" Kim asked sarcastically.

"Hm?" Shego asked, distracted.

"I didn't hear anything in there."

"Listening at the door?" Shego sniped.

Kim reddened. "Of course not!"

Shego shrugged and tugged at one of her hairs. "Hm. Right, sorry."

"I suppose you were proud of yourself at the press conference today," Kim continued. She managed to suppress most of the hostility she was feeling towards Shego right now, and it almost came across as "grudging flattery".

"Yeah, I guess. I mean sure, you bet I was!" Shego added boisterously.

Kim looked dubiously at Shego. She was acting strangely. Maybe victory was a foreign feeling for her.

Shego just tapped her fingers on the couch for several moments without saying anything. Finally she seemed to notice Kim. "Why are you wearing that?"

Back in the black pants and purple top she wore on missions before, Kim could have said that since she was on a mission to take down Shego, it felt right to her. Since that would be foolish, she instead said, "They're a little more comfortable than the tights you gave me. Why, do I still need to wear the uniform on team property?"

" . . . No, I guess you don't."

Kim was surprised. Shego, being reasonable? "Fine then."

Shego frowned. "Look, just give me a minute. I need to think about something, okay?" She must have seen something in Kim's eyes, because she growled. "I'm the leader, remember? I have leading to think about."

Kim held up her hands. "Fine, I'll come back later."

"No, you _stay_. This involves you."

Sitting down, Kim sighed. What new torture was being devised for her? Perhaps she hadn't kissed Shego's ass enough in front of the media. New rule - must talk about how great a team leader Shego is at least twice during any interviews.

Shego just sat across from her, eyes closed. Her lips twisted so that Kim could never tell if she was smiling or grimacing. Or both. Finally she grunted and opened her eyes. "I guess so," she muttered.

"Guess what?"

"I may have . . . made this more difficult for you than I should have," Shego said reluctantly.

Kim blinked.

"Look, this was always about beating you. About keeping you in your place and making sure you knew who was best," Shego said.

"Well, duh," Kim replied. "Although I'm certainly not going to concede the argument."

"No, really? Anyway, the fact remains that currently I'm in charge, and you're the sidekick. Correct?"

Kim shrugged and nodded.

"Well, the bed is made, and I have to sleep in it as best I can. I can't lead you if you're going to hate my guts, and you're not going to stop hating me if I go on treating you like I have," Shego admitted. "So either I change the leader, or I change my attitude. Not as easy a choice as you might think, but I've decided to change my attitude."

"Wait," Kim said suspiciously, when she probably should have been relieved and let Shego speak. "What brought this on?"

"Eh," Shego said. "The press conference was - not as enjoyable as I thought it would be. I don't like the press much myself. I needed to make sure the world knew the change in dynamics, but I may have gone too far. Can I expect you not to rock the boat, follow orders on missions, and not challenge me at every turn if I make a few concessions in exchange?"

Kim was shocked by now. The Shego she knew would have twisted the knife at every turn. But maybe she realized that by her definition, she'd "won", and it was enough to feel satisfied knowing that Kim was obligated to take orders from her . . . And maybe the last triumph for Shego would be Kim growing used to her new status. If life as Shego's sidekick became pleasant enough that Kim _accepted_ it, then Shego's victory became complete.

Well, Kim was NEVER going to accept it, but there was no reason why she couldn't make her life easier in the meantime. And perhaps help her investigation?

"I promise to put the team and the mission first," Kim said truthfully. "Which also means if I'm convinced I'm right and you're wrong, I'll tell you so."

"Fine. What else?"

"You're my leader, not my owner. You can't give me orders that any other employee wouldn't normally be asked to follow. I refuse to follow an order if the sole purpose is to embarrass me, for example. Or wearing mission clothes when I'm not on a mission."

Shego shrugged. "I guess we'll hammer out what is and isn't acceptable."

"And no way is Bonnie above me on the chain of command. She's a part-time receptionist. I'm a highly trained team member. I refuse to take orders from her."

"Well, I knew she'd get under your skin when I hired her," Shego said, chuckling. "I'll put you both on the same rung of the ladder. You don't get to give her orders either. And if she needs someone to watch the phones while she's on a break, I expect you to do it."

"I'll agree to that, but if Yori is around, she can do it too. Don't just pick on me. Speaking of which, if you're going to pick on me, don't be angry if I come right back. I won't sit idly by while you tease me," Kim said.

Shego grinned. "Okay, but Pumpkin is still your code name."

Kim scowled. "Your call."

"I also think that's enough to start with, but . . ." She suddenly took on a very pompous look. "If you have any other problems, please, my door is always open."

"Ugh. Thanks, _boss_." Kim got up to go. She could respect Shego for deciding that Kim's torment could take a back seat to team chemistry, but Shego was still going down.

"You know, Kimmie," Shego added as Kim was leaving. "Some nights Yori and I go out together. I have fun, she acclimates to American culture. You ever want to join us, well, you let me know."

Kim didn't know how to respond to that. Shego was even offering to _hang out_? "Um, yeah, I'll - keep that in mind." Maybe one time, just to make sure that Shego wasn't exposing Yori to anything depraved.

Shego watched her go. _I hope that was enough. I'll take another peek tomorrow._

TBC

Note - Chapter Four's "Randy and the Rockets" was a reference to a perhaps mythical interview where Paul McCartney allegedly spoke of having the Beatles tour small venues in disguise, just for fun. It had to be pointed out to him that people would recognize their voices. And oh yeah, sorry for the delay. Been busy.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Kim felt a light tap on her shoulder. She hadn't heard anyone coming, which unfortunately only narrowed list of suspects down to two. "Excuse me, Kim-san?"

_Whew. At least it's not Shego,_ Kim thought. Shego had been oddly . . . cordial lately. It was creeping her out. "Yes, Yori?" she asked, turning around.

Yori smiled at her. "Shego-chan and I are going out tonight. I was wondering if you would care to join us?"

_I take back the whew._ "Out?" Kim asked warily. "Out where?"

"We will be attending a musical performance," Yori said happily. "We are very fortunate to attend. The performer is very popular in Japan, but he is not yet a success here in America. We did not even need to buy tickets!"

Kim raised an eyebrow. If it was Yori's idea, then she supposed there was no harm in it. Although knowing how different the Japanese and American cultures were, she suspected it was going to be a night bordering on the bizarre. "Is it all right if Ron comes too?" she asked. Ron wouldn't be thrilled to spend time with Shego, but they didn't get enough time together and it would stick in Shego's craw to see him there.

"It would be my honor if Ron-san attended," Yori told her.

"Okay then. Where and when should we meet you?"

Yori reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded piece of bright pink paper. "Here is a flyer, Kim-san. All the information may be found there."

Kim unfolded the flyer and read what was written there. Then she looked dubiously back at Yori. "The Rubberband Man?"

"Is it not exciting?!"

* * *

"I can't believe I sat so close to him!" Yori said, almost bubbly with enthusiasm. "The other students at Yamanouchi will be so jealous when I tell them!"

"It was badical!" Ron agreed. "I was so surprised! It's like I was hypnotized by the sounds he put down!"

"I almost lost control when he started to jam," Yori sighed. "I was just barely able to contain myself. It would have been most dishonorable to behave in such a manner in public." Then she grabbed Ron's arm and squealed. "When he stretched that band between his toes . . ."

"And then wriggled it up around his nose!" Ron finished for her. "Boo-yah!"

Kim walked behind them and massaged the bridge of her nose. "Ron," she muttered.

"I take it you didn't prepare yourself for the Rubberband Man," Shego said dryly as she walked next to her.

"No, I didn't," Kim replied. "I don't think I've ever heard a sound like the Rubberband Man."

Shego chuckled. "It almost made karaoke with Dr. D sound good."

The thief had been in surprisingly good spirits, Kim thought. There had been an unbelievable amount of tension when Kim and Ron arrived at the bar and found the other two women waiting for them. They'd looked almost ready to fight, bystanders be damned. But then Yori had greeted Ron, and the moment passed. For the remainder of the night, by some unspoken agreement the two had ignored each other.

Despite that, and despite the musical stylings of a short, fat man who played "songs" by plucking on office supplies, Shego had been polite, even convivial. It certainly appeared as if her relationship with Yori wasn't anything like her and Drakken. Shego directed only a few gentle sarcastic barbs at Yori, and encouraged her increasing comfort level with American slang and pop culture. She'd even engaged Kim in several casual conversations on topics she couldn't remember, while Yori had plenty of time to reconnect with Ron . . .

Kim narrowed her eyes at Shego and slowed down, allowing Ron and Yori to put a little distance between them. "Is this your newest plan, Shego?" she asked suspiciously. "Monopolizing my time so that Yori spends all night with my boyfriend? Hoping to break us up?"

Shego grunted. "Yeah, you could probably tell I was SO thrilled he showed up. It played directly into my evil plan, mwahaha."

"Do you have another explanation for why you've become so friendly?"

"I told you days ago."

"I didn't believe you."

"Yeah," Shego sighed. "I kinda figured that the next day. What do I have to do to convince you that my mission in life is no longer about humiliating you and putting you down?"

"Shego, you broke up my team, you made me irrelevant, and you reduced me to being your sidekick," Kim snapped. "Of course that's not your mission any more. You've already won. You can _afford_ to be a little reasonable now. I suppose you're hoping I'll accept it one day. That I'll accept being your sidekick? Well, it's never going to happen!"

By now Kim and Shego were practically alone in a darkened parking lot. Ron and Yori were probably wondering where they'd disappeared to. Kim was standing in front of Shego, jabbing a finger in her face, while the former thief - just stared back.

Then her shoulders slumped. "Why did I even try?" Shego muttered. She brushed past Kim and left her behind.

Kim closed her eyes and exhaled after Shego left. _Smooth, Kim. Keep that up, and Dr. Director will never find out Shego's secret weapon!_ She thought she'd let go of some of her hostility and anger toward Shego over what she'd taken from Kim, but apparently not.

_You took my life, Shego. What did you expect?_

* * *

"Ed, you idiot!" Shego screamed. "That's not a car, it's a nuclear missile!"

"Hey, only if it crashes, and I'm an awesome driver. Seriously," Motor Ed assured her from the driver's seat of his latest massive roadster. "And with that stolen plutonium in the tank, just watch when this baby hits 888 miles an hour! I'm seriously going to pop the baddest wheelie the world has ever seen! Yeaaahhhooowwww!" he shrieked, riffing in the air.

"Grasshopper, Pumpkin, take care of those gearhead losers of his," Shego said. "I've still got a grudge to settle with this idiot over last year's wardrobe malfunction!"

_Let's go, Kim. Do what sidekicks do. Deal with the hired help,_ Kim thought grimly as she and Yori began efficiently putting Ed's bruisers down.

On paper, the outcome was preordained, but paper doesn't account for pure luck. Yori kicked a spanner out of one man's hand. The spanner flew through the air and collided with an open tool box, sending tools, nuts, bolts, and screws in every direction. A Phillips screwdriver, sailing end over end, landed handle first on a button on a control panel that activated the winches. Almost a second later, a hammer collided with the same panel, causing it to malfunction.

The push of the button caused a large engine block that Ed had suspended from a chain to lower slowly. The smash of the hammer removed the "slowly" part. It dropped like a stone.

Kim was right below it. She had no reason to suspect it was coming. It was a coincidence, a fluke.

America's most famous sidekick never had a chance.

Its newest heroine did.

Kim cringed as she was suddenly buffeted from above by hot air and burning metal. She instinctively tumbled out of the way, and that saved her from several non-life-threatening injuries as large chunks of the engine block scattered across the floor where she'd been standing. Three of Ed's goons weren't so lucky. Two received concussions and burns, and a third had his arm severed, surviving death by massive blood loss only because of Yori's quick thinking.

Kim slowly touched the back of her neck, which was already starting to blister from where hot shrapnel had glanced off. Then she looked up at Ed's motor vehicle, where Shego clung to one side, hands still burning with plasma.

It didn't compute, but her brain was insistent on it - Shego had saved her life.

Seriously.

TBC

A/N - With apologies to the Spinners.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Why?" Kim asked Shego after they got back.

"Seriously?"

"Don't you dare start that too!"

Shego grinned. "It would put a serious crimp in Team G.O. if we were suddenly down one member."

Kim folded her arms. "Having only Yori didn't seem to stop you before I joined."

"How about it would also put a serious crimp in the team's reputation for one of us to die fighting a class-D threat like Motor Ed?"

Kim could believe that, but something inside her compelled her to believe there was more to it. "And that's the only reason?"

Shego rolled her eyes. "Look, Kimmie, I don't know what you want from me. Last time we had one of our heart-to-hearts, you basically said you don't believe me and you don't trust me. I'm just giving you the answer you're more inclined to accept. But now when I tell you I saved your life for selfish reasons, you don't believe that either. You want to make up your mind?"

"I want the truth, Shego!" Kim retorted, even as she mentally acknowledged that Shego was right about her sending mixed signals.

Shego stared at her. "How about Yori considers you a friend, and I knew she'd be upset if something happened to you? Does that work for you? Or maybe I don't want to see you get hurt. Let me know when you start believing me."

Kim blinked. Shego was giving her all sorts of reasons, ranging from the mercenary to the compassionate, and Kim didn't know which ones to believe. "I don't know, okay? It's like you're a different person every day. You're all over the map. I don't know what to expect from you any more."

"Well, maybe I'm just trying different things and hoping to see one fit," Shego replied. "You'll let me know when one does, okay? And see Dr. D about those blisters. He has the first aid supplies. And he's been warned about tampering with them, so you should be safe." She turned and headed back towards her rooms. "Yori and I are going out again tonight. I'll see you tomorrow, Pumpkin."

"No code names off-mission, remember?" Kim said irritably.

"That was just a term of endearment, Kimmie," Shego replied. She turned and flashed an evil smile. "Hey, remember that the G.O. stands for Gorgeous Operatives. Maybe I saved you because you're just too damn hot to die."

Kim flushed as Shego disappeared down the corridor. Snide one day, polite the next, flirtatious the day after! If she was trying to keep Kim off-balance, she was succeeding!

Maybe that was why Kim just couldn't make up her mind about Shego any more. She didn't know what to believe, because she didn't know who Shego was, not like she used to. God, even the idea of Shego saving her - sure, it had happened twice before when they were enemies, but still, it was utterly surreal. She never even saw it happen until it was over.

Whatever it had meant, Kim should at least be more appreciative. If it hadn't been for Shego, Kim would be dead right now. And after Kim had screamed at her the other night too . . .

Kim paused. The timing of that WAS awfully curious. But Shego wouldn't do that to her.

Wouldn't she?

* * *

Ron was not a drinking man. He went to bars for the company, and he ordered soft drinks. And he certainly never drank alone.

But maybe he needed to get used to doing things alone. Because today had been his first successful field operation as a GJ agent, and the whole time he kept expecting KP to be there.

And of course, she wasn't.

So he walked into an unfamiliar bar after he clocked out that night. "One bourbon, one Scotch, and one beer, barkeep," he ordered. Truly variety was the spice of life.

The bartender chuckled. "Ain't seen your baby since the night before last, huh?"

Ron eyed him suspiciously. He looked down into his pocket. "How did he know that, Rufus?" he hissed.

"Dunno!"

_Maybe I'll just sit at a table instead and avoid creepy psychic bartenders._ He threw some money on the bar, took his drinks, and headed for an empty seat.

"Stoppable-san!"

Ron froze. "Yori?"

Two tables over the pleased Japanese girl waved him over. Kim wasn't there this time, but a familiar hairstyle was. "Stoppable," Shego muttered.

"Shego," he grumbled. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Waiting for karaoke!" Yori said brightly. Her smile was a little wider than usual, and she swayed slightly in her seat.

Ron looked at her. "Yori, just how much have you had to drink tonight?"

She held up a thumb and forefinger that were almost touching. "Only thiiiiis much."

Shego snorted. "Apparently Yori needs extra lubrication for when she sings."

"You will be singing too, right, Shego-chan?"

Shego sighed and nodded.

Yori said something in Japanese that Ron dimly recalled was their equivalent of "Yay!". Then she looked at Ron. "You must stay and hear us perform, Stoppable - I mean Ron-san!"

Ron wasn't thrilled about sharing a table with Shego for the second time in a week, but Shego obviously didn't want to sing, and he didn't mind having a front-row seat for her discomfort. "Sure," he said, sitting down and relaxing. "I can't wait to hear what comes out of Shego's mouth."

Shego looked like she was trying not to snarl and bare her teeth at him, but she was distracted by the ring of her phone. She looked at the ID, raised an eyebrow, and answered it. "Hello?"

Ron knew there was a misconception among people who had never seen Shego that she was either white or green-skinned, when in fact it was a combination of the two, with an emphasis on the white. Whatever Shego heard on the phone, it caused the green in her skin to vanish completely, making her look like a drowned corpse. Slowly she closed the phone and put it away.

"Shego?" Ron asked. "What is it? Is it Kim?!"

Shego swallowed. "Kim's fine," she said. "I have to go."

Yori looked dismayed. "But Shego-chan, our song!"

"I can't - " She stopped.

Ron looked at Yori and realized she had her own variation on Kim's "puppy dog pout". It wasn't the same exactly, but the effect was equally devastating.

Shego broke. "I'll be back in two minutes," she promised.

"Two minutes?" Ron asked. "Where the hell can you go in two minutes?"

"You'd be surprised," Shego said.

She was right. Because she walked in exactly two minutes after she walked out. "I'm surprised all right," Ron said. "Where were you?"

For some reason she thought that was funny, but Ron still noticed the wild, frantic look in her eyes.

* * *

Throughout her other duties that day, in the back of her mind Betty Director pondered the materials Kim Possible had sent her. She'd supplied reports on all of Shego's routines at Team G.O., as well as photos of the contents of Shego's rooms. Kim had emphasized Shego's collection of African and South American antiquities, hoping some of them had been stolen. But nothing had turned up. Still, there was something odd about them. She just didn't know what.

It was only after Dr. Director had left for home, still puzzling over what it was about those files and pictures, when it hit her. There was a major traffic jam on the highway. A tractor-trailer truck had flipped and struck an underpass, tearing it almost completely in half.

That was what flipped the switch in Dr. Director's head. Broken in half . . . none of the statues and figurines in Shego's rooms had been identified as stolen. Some hadn't been identified at all, probably just junk.

But _half_ of one looked remarkably like something that had been stolen about - less than a year ago? Perhaps. More than six months ago? _Definitely._ An unsolved case.

A chill ran up Dr. Director's spine. She avoided the traffic jam by turning around and speeding back to GJ headquarters.

* * *

"That's it?" Kim asked.

"Yes, Kim Possible," Dr. Drakken informed her. "I managed to retrieve all of tonight's footage from the security cameras in my cousin's garage. There were several, it seems, not that any of them picked you up as you slipped in. Why did you need this?"

"I want to see what happened. I want to understand," Kim said. "It all happened too quickly."

"Hmm. You probably just want to know if you could have saved yourself before Shego did it for you," Drakken replied.

She didn't say anything. He wasn't far off. "Want to give me a minute?"

He shrugged and left the lab, letting her take his seat. Kim typed on the keyboard and began speeding through the footage until she saw the explosion. Then she rewound a little bit and began playing in slow motion.

The footage first confirmed that she would _not_ in fact have had time to save herself. She swallowed. With no warning of any nature, Kim might not have even felt her body being crushed to death. But that wasn't what she was after.

What really troubled her was the idea that Shego had arranged the whole thing.

That didn't appear to be the case, though. The cameras caught the tools flying everywhere, and the machinery malfunctioning. It had been a freak accident, a one-in-one hundred thousand chance. _Maybe_ if Yori had intentionally directed the spanner in that direction, but Yori would never have tried to kill her, and even so, who could predict the outcome?

As for Shego . . .

Kim stared, rewound, stared some more, and did it all over again.

Shego had one hand in Ed's face on the video, preventing him from seeing anything, including the dashboard. Both his hands were focused on getting her off of him and pushing her off the car.

Her other hand was hanging by her side, glowing with power. And Shego wasn't even looking at Ed now. She was staring at the battle below. When Yori's fateful kick snapped the henchman's wrist and sent his weapon flying, Shego did nothing except watch, and wait.

The engine block descended for a second and a half before Shego raised her other hand and blasted it into shrapnel.

It was almost like Shego had known it was going to happen.

But that was impossible. It had quite clearly been a total accident. Not just an accident, but one caused by a completely unpredictable chain of events. It couldn't have been arranged. It couldn't even have been guessed at. No one could have seen it coming.

But Shego had.

Kim sat back and pondered this completely illogical notion for a few minutes before her mind led her to the inescapable conclusion. There was only one way Shego could have known.

If she'd seen it happen already.

* * *

"I'll be right back," Shego said once they'd returned from the stage. "I'm going to order a nice, stiff drink. Maybe a double." She shook her head. "Maybe TWO doubles."

"Sure thing . . . Elton," Ron replied.

She grimaced and headed for the bar.

Ron leaned back. Shego and Yori singing "Don't Go Breaking My Heart". Badly, partly because Yori was drunk and Shego seemed to keep forgetting when it was her turn. Now he'd seen everything.

Yori, meanwhile, didn't seem at all displeased by her performance. "I am most fortunate you were here, Ron-san. It is too bad Kim-san could not be here as well."

"Yeah, well, I don't see as much of KP any more anyway," Ron said sadly.

The ninja waved a hand dismissively. "You and Kim-san have always been there for each other. That will never change. Much as Shego-chan has always been there for me since I began working for her." She gave him a wistful smile. "I hope that will never change either."

"I'm surprised the two of you are friends," Ron said. "Shego can be - difficult."

"Shego-ku - Shego-chan has never been difficult with me," Yori assured him.

She almost caught herself, but Ron had heard enough, and he choked on his drink. "Chan" was a term of affection. "Kun" meant something - a little stronger. "Yori," he asked gingerly, "do you - like Shego?"

Yori finished her drink and looked back at him. Her lip trembled. "I like her very much, Ron-san," she said. "But I fear she likes Kim-san more."

This time Ron didn't choke on his drink. He dropped it instead.

* * *

Dr. Director activated her computer and brought up the images Kim had sent her from the Kimmunicator. The one she was looking for had been there somewhere . . . _there._

Then she did a little research and found the file on the still-unsolved museum theft last year. Someone had stolen one-half of a small stone sculpture, no real value beyond the fact that it was many centuries old. There had been no evidence, and the investigation quickly died.

The missing statue piece was an exact match for one half of Shego's statue.

And the missing statue was rumored to be one-half of something called . . . Good Lord. The rumors might actually be true!

* * *

Kim burst into Shego's rooms. The thief was out with Yori by now. She looked at the two rooms Shego never let anyone enter. Bedroom, okay, she could understand the need for privacy. But the bathroom? Just put a lock on the door!

The alarm went off when Kim entered Shego's private bathroom. She didn't care. She had time. There had to be SOMETHING in there. She started checking the walls and was quickly surprised to discover that the walls had been _soundproofed_. That explained the one time she hadn't heard a flush. But why?

Then it hit her. The answer wasn't in the walls. It was written down for her in black and white.

Kim went over to the stack of newspapers. There were seven copies in all. The top one was dated today. She flipped it over and looked at the second one.

It was dated tomorrow.

And underneath, a paper from the day after that.

She stopped looking. She had the answer. She didn't know how Shego was doing it, but somehow she'd gain the ability to _travel through time._

TBC . . .


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

It was all clear to Kim now. How Shego beat her to the punch _every TIME!_

"You said I'd completed my mission to put you down."

Kim gasped and spun. Shego was in the doorway, cornering her. In her hands was one of the figurines from the living room, a sculpture of a small ape. "How did you - what?"

"Clearly you were wrong," Shego went on, exasperated, "because if I HAD put you down, you wouldn't be in here now, despite everything I've tried to stop you."

"Stop me? What did - Shego! You've been to the future!" Kim kicked the pile of dailies over.

"Yep."

"That's how you did it!" Kim continued, finding her outrage as it began to swell. "You went to the future somehow, and you gathered all the details of my successful missions. Then you USED that information to complete them before I could!"

Shego nodded. "Also true."

"You CHEATED."

"I AM a bad girl, you know. Or I was. Maybe I still am. I don't know. Are bad girls allowed to be heroines?"

"You're no hero," Kim spat. "You've just been riding on my coattails!"

Shego shrugged. "What coattails? I did the missions, not you."

Kim pointed at the statue. "What's that? Is that it? Is that how you did it?"

"Want to hear a story, Kimmie?" Rather than making any threatening moves with Kim trapped in the small bathroom, Shego turned and went back into the living room. Kim stormed after her as Shego sat down on her leather sofa.

"It figures!" Kim said. "You have the power of time travel in your hands, and what do you do with it? You ruin things!"

"Yeah," Shego shot back. "The world's so much worse off now, thanks to me."

"How about my life? You ruined that!"

"Ooooh, I hurt your pride. Get over it. I did."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Shego held up the statue. "The Tempus Simia. My little 'time monkey'. I owe everything to this. This, and my wounded pride. Take a stroll down memory lane with me, Kimmie. Back, back further, back to after the Lorwardians. Back when Dr. D and I received medals and pardons. What did Dr. D do? Decided he wanted to go out on top. He had respect, and he wasn't going to sully that by losing to you again. So he went straight."

"I know all this," Kim grumbled.

"Getting there. Me, I was fed up with the sidekick business. Took a nice, long vacation. Then I put feelers out for some freelance thieving work. High-end black market stuff, all arranged by intermediaries. I found an anonymous bidder who wanted something stolen, no evidence, no trails. I hit the museum and found this." She held the Tempus Simia up again. "Well, half of it, anyway. But enough to know it was a monkey idol. How long do you think it took me to figure out who my buyer was?"

"Monkey Fist," Kim said, finally sitting down.

"More of that quick thinking, huh? Anyway, I decided I'd play along and see what else Monkey Poo wanted from me. The buyer wanted something else stolen from an abandoned monkey temple. Obviously it was the other half. Figuring that out was almost as easy as finding it and stealing it. Then I was supposed to bring both halves to the buy. There was a catch - keep the two halves separate, or I wouldn't get my fee."

"But you connected them anyway."

"I didn't give a shit about the fee. I'm loaded, Kimmie. Now I just wanted to mess with his head. So I skipped the meet and reunited my Monkey's head with his ass. Next thing I knew, mystical portal in the sky. I played around with it and figured out I could use it to travel through both space and time. Which, as discoveries go, was pretty awesome, by the way," Shego added.

Kim frowned.

Before Shego could continue, the doors opened again, and Shego came in. Another one. The three of them looked at each other. Kim felt a headache coming on.

"Thanks for the phone call," the new arrival finally said. "Mind telling me how the fuck this happened?"

The sitting Shego glanced at her watch. "Look, just get the Time Monkey, go back ten minutes, and give yourself a call, okay? Then jump ahead ten minutes and come back here. I'm in the middle of a story here."

"Why the hell shouldn't I just go back fifteen minutes to HERE and make sure Kim doesn't find out in the first place?" the new Shego asked.

Shego gestured towards Kim. "Go ahead, tell her what you told me."

Kim blinked. "Huh?"

"Oh, for - why wouldn't it make a difference if I could go back in time and stop you from entering my rooms?"

Kim looked at the standing Shego. "I saw the security tapes from Ed's garage. You were _waiting_ for that engine block to fall, when there was no way you could have predicted it. If I hadn't gotten the proof tonight, I would have sooner or later."

The standing Shego winced. "Damn it," she muttered. "Okay, fine, ten minutes. You think she'll let you go back to Yori after this?"

"I don't see why it's her decision."

The new Shego shrugged. "She won't see it that way," she said. She then walked over to the art collection. Sitting with the other statues was an exact replica of the idol in the sitting Shego's hands. She picked it up.

Suddenly there was a crack in the air as a rift appeared in empty space behind the second Shego. Kim felt a wind blowing her hair back and she raised a hand in front of her eyes as this Shego disappeared into the void, leaving her alone with the first Shego once more.

"As I was saying . . . "

"Whoa, wait, stop," Kim said. "What was that? How were there two of you just now?"

Shego looked annoyed. "I'm never going to explain everything if you keep interrupting."

"Tough."

"Fine. I was at a karaoke bar with Yori and Stoppable. I - "

"Ron! Why was Ron there?"

"From what I could tell, the same reason most people go to bars. I didn't ask. I didn't care. May I? Thank you. I got a call while I was there from myself, saying that you had gone into my private bathroom and found the newspapers from the future, and that I needed to come back right away. I left, drove here, came in, and found myself on the couch, talking to you."

A light bulb went on in Kim's brain. "That was your past self, younger by a few minutes, wasn't it?"

"Good. One less thing for me to explain. So I grabbed the Monkey, went back in time, called myself on the cell, came in again - sort of - and found you in my bathroom."

"What was that about Yori?"

"I promised Yori I'd be back in two minutes. That was a while ago. The only way I'm keeping my promise is if I use the Time Monkey."

"And you think I'll just let you disappear into the time stream with the ability to screw with the past," Kim said sarcastically.

"Pumpkin, if I don't, Ron and Yori will be alone together for a while. And they've both been drinking."

Kim sucked in a breath. Not that she didn't trust him, but well, alcohol did funny things to you. "Fine," Kim said. "But I'm going with you. And I'm keeping the idol."

Shego didn't speak for a few moments. "Fine," she finally said.

"Fine?" Kim asked, surprised. "You have a magical artifact that can move you through time. And you're willing to give it up?"

"I should have given it up a while ago."

Kim was confused. "I think you should get back to the story."

"Finally. Where the hell was I?"

"You found out what the Tempus Simia could do."

"Right. So I had a little fun at Monty's expense, and then I decided to have some more fun at yours."

"All the ways you could have changed history for the better - or the worse - and you decide to screw with me?!"

"Kimmie, I don't think you realize how long I've wanted to take you down a few pegs. Can you really be THAT surprised when I say that the first thing I thought of was you?"

Kim couldn't exactly argue with that.

"So first I thought of committing some really flashy, spectacular crimes where the whole world would see you lose. But I knew you'd never give up if I was the bad girl. You'd get back up and try again. But if I was your _competition_," Shego went on with a grin, "then I could beat you over and over and over again, AND you wouldn't be able to do anything about it. What were you going to do, stop me from _saving the day?_"

Kim didn't respond to that either. She just seethed.

"You figured out how it happened pretty easily," Shego said. "I went to Yamanouchi for my sidekick because I needed someone who sticks to a contract as faithfully as I do. The fact that she knew you was an added bonus, although I wonder if that crafty old fart knew about my relationship with you and Stoppable when he picked Yori. Then I started going to the future and cherry-picking all your biggest successes. By the final month, I didn't even need the Monkey any more. Missions were being dropped in my lap by all your old clientele."

"You don't need to rub it in."

Shego shrugged. "Sorry. I won. I enjoyed it. Deal with it."

"Fine. So you won our wager and you had me on your team," Kim said. "You lorded it over me every chance you got. And then you got _weird_ right after the first press conference. What happened?"

Shego squirmed. "I went to the future one last time, just to see what it would be like. And it was all over. Team Possible was back, and I was in jail. I didn't know how you did it, but you discovered my secret and you used it to destroy me. My guess? You used the Monkey to change the past again so I lost the wager, or maybe never even got the idol in the first place. Whatever you did, you ended up winning after all, Kim."

Kim smirked. "And you couldn't 'deal with it', could you?"

"No," Shego said curtly. "That was when we had that talk in this room. I decided I had to find a way to make you accept what happened, instead of relentlessly following my every move until you cracked the secret. That meant making life easier for you. So I tried to be _nicer_ to you. Went to the future again, same result. Tried harder. Didn't matter."

"But why not just get rid of the Monkey and all other evidence of your time traveling?" Kim asked. "Even if I thought of it, I never could have proved it. I'd just sound like an insane sore loser."

"Because I had to _know_," Shego retorted. "I couldn't give it up without my own proof. Proof that I still won in the end, and that you still believed I did it because I was better than you. I was starting to get desperate. Saving your life hadn't made a difference." She paused. "I even tried . . . flirting with you earlier."

Kim gaped. "I thought that was what you were doing, but I thought you were just - wait, you weren't considering trying to _seduce_ me, were you?!"

Shego didn't say anything.

"Oh - my - GOD!" Kim turned a blazing shade of red. "It wouldn't have worked, trust me!"

"Well, I never went to the future to check it out, so I'll just have to take your word for it."

"You're not - you don't have _feelings_ - "

Shego chuckled. "I _am_ bi, but sorry, you're not my cup of tea. I thought maybe I could grow to - "

"Enough already!" Kim shouted.

"Sorry."

Kim calmed herself down. "While we're being honest, Dr. Director asked me to agree to work for you. She was afraid you had some secret ability that was helping you win, like psychic powers or advanced surveillance or something. Time travel, however, never came up."

"Hmph. She never did seem all that trusting of me." Shego shrugged and got up. "So, wanna go back in time?"

"If it means you giving that to me afterwards, then absolutely."

"And then?"

Kim stared at her. "Then I'm bringing this to Dr. Director and figuring out the best way of fixing the _mess_ you've made because you were too spiteful to call it quits!"

"And the world can be right again," Shego sneered. "A place where Kim Possible always wins and always gets what she wants, because that's just how it's supposed to be. Face it, Pumpkin. This isn't about fixing anything. There's nothing TO fix! This is just because you can't bear to lose any more than I can. The only difference between us is you've never had to before."

"And you wouldn't do the same thing if you were in my shoes?" Kim shot back.

Shego just smiled. "Of course I would. I told you we're alike. You just proved my case."

"Yeah, whatever," Kim said uncomfortably. "Can we just go?"

"Sure."

Kim suddenly felt Shego's hand on her elbow. Then she was yanked off her feet before she knew it.

* * *

Kim looked through the windows of the bar at Yori singing drunkenly on stage while Shego stood stiffly by. Then she looked down at the Tempus Simia in her hands.

Her Kimmunicator buzzed. She answered it. "What's the sitch?"

"Kim, it's Dr. Director. I believe I may have figured out how Shego defeated you. She may have in her possession - "

"Tempus Simia. Time-traveling chimp. So not the drama, Dr. Director," Kim said, holding up the statue.

" . . . Ah. Well, I'm glad you've recovered it. Where is Shego?"

"Busy. We have plenty of time to discuss what to do next. Actually," Kim said, "I guess we have all the time in the world."

TBC . . .

A/N - I realize that the Tempus Simia was destroyed in "Sitch in Time". However, since it was destroyed in an alternate timeline that, by virtue of said destruction, has ceased to exist, what happened to it? You can't destroy something in the future if that something is how you got to the future in the first place. That would be paradoxical.

My belief is that when the timeline was righted again, the Tempus Simia went back to being two separate halves, and for some unknown reason, Monkey Fist and his fellow stooges no longer attempt to steal it. Until after "Graduation", when Fist hires Shego to locate the halves for him.

I think the next chapter will probably be the last one. Probably. Maybe. This is probably my last fic too.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Here it . . . " Kim began to say as she entered Dr. Director's office, holding up the Tempus Simia.

"A moment, Kim," Dr. Director said, interrupting her. "I'm speaking to one of my agents."

"Sorry," Kim mouthed.

Dr. Director returned to the phone. "Yes, that's right, Agent. I'll need you to get to my office as soon as you can. Take a tube if you need to. Where are you located . . . I trust your senses aren't impaired . . . Very well. If you head about a mile due west, you should see a covered bus stop. There's an entrance there. Please hurry. You'll be debriefed by Ms. Possible when you arrive . . . Hello? Hello?" Dr. Director shrugged and hung up the phone. "He'll be here any minute. I want him to sit in on this conversation, Kim, so if you can control yourself for a couple minutes more?"

"No big," Kim said, but already her foot was tapping.

"May I see it in the meantime?"

Silently Kim handed over the stone monkey idol.

"Amazing," Dr. Director murmured. "All the modern technology in the world, and we can't even come close to accomplishing what ancient magic and a little . . . " She looked appraisingly at the statue. "A _very_ little craftsmanship could. It's not exactly a work of art, is it?"

"It manages to be breathtaking in its own way, I guess," Kim said.

"Mmm," Dr. Director said as she set the Monkey on her desk. A second later, Ron Stoppable practically crashed through her door.

"Ron?" Kim asked.

"KP!" Ron responded. "I came as soon as I heard you were here. Listen, I've got to warn you! You can't work for Shego any more!"

"Ron, relax," Kim said happily. "I'm not going to work for Shego any more. Actually, I'm not going to work for her in the first place now."

Dr. Director raised her eyebrow.

"But Kim, you don't understand! I talked to Yori a few minutes ago, and she thinks that Shego is _into_ you!"

There went the other eyebrow.

Kim shuddered, reminded of what Shego had told her earlier that night. "It's all right," she assured him. "It came up tonight, believe it or not. It's all just a ruse."

"Uh, Kim," Dr. Director interjected. "Perhaps now would be a good time to tell us what happened tonight. I think it's safe to let Agent Stoppable in on our secret plan now."

Ron looked at Kim. "Secret?"

Kim gave him the broad brushstrokes of how Dr. Director had asked her to infiltrate Team G.O. in order to find out how Shego had acquired her uncanny ability to know about a crime even before Team Possible did. "I wanted to tell you, Ron, I really did!" Kim said. "But Dr. Director was worried that, since we didn't know how Shego got all her information, the more people I told, the more likely it was she'd find out. Can you forgive me?"

Ron rubbed his head. "So that's why you didn't join GJ with me? It was a secret mission? It wasn't that - " He swallowed. "That you didn't want to be teammates any more?"

Kim gasped. "You _really_ thought that?! Oh Ron, I could never want that! Why didn't you tell me that you were worrying about that?"

"I dunno. I thought maybe you were going to break up with me next, and I _really_ didn't want that to happen."

"Ron," Kim whispered. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Ron! I never meant to make you feel that way!"

"Perhaps I should apologize too, Agent," Dr. Director added. "I didn't realize the effect my plan would have on your personal life."

Ron looked like he was about to speak, but Kim interrupted him by kissing him. A lot.

"Hm, I seem to have lost a button," Dr. Director muttered, studiously inspecting the carpet.

Kim finally pulled away from her boyfriend. He grinned goofily. "Hey, KP, it's all good! The Ron Man's ego is feeling better than ever now!"

She laughed. "I didn't know slackers had egos."

"Ours sleep a lot."

"Maybe you'd like to debrief us now, Kim?" Dr. Director asked.

Kim smiled and nodded. "I started piecing it together after our last mission . . . " She detailed the events after that, from Shego saving her life, to the security footage, the newspapers in the bathroom, and eventually the spinning, lurching jump through time.

"I see," Dr. Director finally said. "I wonder where Shego is now. She could be considered a fugitive now that she's confessed to the museum robbery last year."

"She was still at the bar with Yori when I left," Ron told her.

"Yeah, why _were_ you at a bar with them?" Kim asked.

"I didn't know they were going to be there!" he complained. "Yori invited me to join them. I did get to hear Shego sing, though. Britina she wasn't."

"And what's this about _Yori_ telling you Shego is 'into' me?"

Ron's face fell. "She was a little intoxicated. She told me something really personal, and then that kinda slipped out. I guess because Shego was so obsessed with stopping you from defeating her in the future, Yori watched and thought she was attracted to you. You're, uh, sure she's not?"

"Well, it _is_ Shego. She could have lied. But she said she's into both guys and girls, and that I'm not one of them," Kim told him.

"Wait, Shego likes girls too?"

"Oh, come on, Ron. It's the twenty-first century."

"No, I don't mean that. It's just . . . if Shego's not into you, then maybe Yori's got a chance after all," Ron said slowly.

Kim's eyes went wide. "You mean _Yori_ is into _Shego_?"

"This is all very fascinating," Dr. Director said, "but perhaps we could discuss your future plans?"

"Don't you mean my past plans?" Kim asked. "I mean, all I have to do now is use the Tempus Simia to go to the past and stop Shego from stealing the first half from the museum."

"Ah," Dr. Director said. "Yes, I gathered from an earlier comment that you were thinking something like that."

Kim didn't like the sympathetic look in her eye. "So?"

"Kim," Dr. Director told her gently, "you can't change the past. Not even with time travel."

"But - but - " Kim said, bewildered. "Shego did!"

"Technically, no. She changed the future. There's a difference."

"Early onset hangover," Ron muttered, putting a hand to his head.

"Kim," Dr. Director explained, "believe it or not, GJ has studied the possibilities and ramifications of time travel. Ever since mad scientists like Dr. Drakken and Professor Dementor began doing things with the laws of physics undreamt of, we've studied every scientific improbability under the sun, in the event that a deranged genius tries to use it against the world. I've re-reviewed the files tonight. The general consensus is that you can't change events that have already happened up until the precise moment you travel backwards from your starting point."

"If time travel hasn't been invented yet, how could they know that?" Kim asked.

"It's more of a philosophical question than a scientific one, actually. How did you acquire the Tempus Simia tonight, Kim?"

"From Shego."

"And how did she get it?"

"She stole one half from the museum, and the other . . . " Kim stopped.

Dr. Director smiled. "Why that look on your face, Kim?"

"If I travel in time to stop Shego from stealing the Time Monkey," Kim said heavily, "then I won't be able to get the Monkey from her tonight. Which means I won't be able to go back in time to stop Shego. It's a paradox."

"Exactly," Dr. Director said. "There are two schools of thought when it comes to changing the past. Some feel the past is immutable, and that any action you take in the past to change something, only ensures it will happen as it did. Others feel that you _can_ change the past, but that this causes the universe to split into two distinct alternate universes - one in which Shego steals the Monkey, and one in which she doesn't. The problem with that is that when you return to the present, Kim, to prevent the paradox you will return to the universe in which she does. Either way, Kim, your attempt will have absolutely no impact on your life."

Kim felt her hopes crumbling. "But Shego went into the future! Then she went into the past and changed things! How come that wasn't a paradox?"

"That's a bit trickier. We can only make educated guesses. Best one? Shego's trying to change the future, and the future is more mutable than the past. She's not changing HER past when she witnesses events in the future. Free will, Kim. Everyone is allowed to decide their own fate. She's only changing the past of a world that doesn't exist yet." Dr. Director shrugged. "Or maybe it's something completely different."

Ron shook his head. "I think I halfway understood what you meant. I _knew_ that bourbon tasted funny."

"At any rate," Dr. Director continued, "we won't know more about why you can change the future but not the past without more study - and frankly I'm a bit sorry the opportunity for study has arisen."

"Why?" Kim asked.

"This kind of power in the hands of any one person or organization, Kim?" Dr. Director shook her head. "For all the impact Shego's actions have had on your life, and I'm not minimizing them, she could have put the Tempus Simia to much more dangerous uses. Manipulating financial markets, changing the course of wars, stealing the future fruits of one's intellectual labors. Imagine being able to assassinate world leaders by knowing exactly where they'll be one year from now, before anyone else does, and planning accordingly. A malicious heart could conceive a thousand ways to make the world a darker place with the Tempus Simia. And what does Shego do? She saves lives. Granted, it wasn't out of altruistic motives, but she could have made your life much worse, Kim. Yours and everyone else's."

"Okay, I see why this should be kept out of the hands of evil people," Kim admitted, "but GJ isn't evil."

"No, we're not. But power does funny things to people. It corrupts. I think I can avoid the temptation, but why risk it? Why put my successors in that position? Besides, Kim, look again at Shego. The Tempus Simia gave her what she thought she wanted, and she ended up becoming a slave to it. She _knew_ it was in her best interests to dispose of it, but she couldn't stand not knowing what was in her future. And when she saw what her future was, when she failed to change it? In the end, I think the Monkey only brought her despair." Dr. Director paused. "You know, Kim, I think I've just talked myself out of it. Can I trust you both not to breathe a word of this discovery to anyone?"

Kim and Ron nodded.

"Then I think I'm going to figure out how to separate the halves once more, and then plant them in two very, very deep spots on opposite sides of the world. I don't want to change the future, not even for the better. I'd spend the rest of my life trying to change the things that go wrong, always wondering if they went wrong because of _other_ changes I made. Oh yes, I can see why Shego couldn't stop once she'd started."

"It's up to you to decide what to do with it," Kim acknowledged, "but it kills me that Shego gets away with what she did."

"Gets away? Kim, she said it herself. It wasn't just about beating you. It was about you _knowing_ you were beaten, that you went toe-to-toe with Shego and came up short. But now you know that her victory was a cheat. And she knows you know. I don't think you need to do anything to her." Dr. Director then did something odd. She took out her wallet. "Shego's only reason for being a heroine was so she could lord it over you. She no longer has that power. I'll bet either of you twenty dollars that Shego becomes a villain again in order to have that victory she wants over you. And _that's_ why she's in prison in the future. Because you're better than her."

"No bet," Ron said instantly. "I already _know_ KP is better than her."

"Only if I have my partner with me," Kim corrected him. "What do you say, Ron? Partners again?"

"Boo-yah!"

* * *

"See you tomorrow, bright and early, KP?" Ron asked as they left GJ headquarters together. Dr. Director was personally shepherding the paperwork that would officially make Agents Possible and Stoppable partners for as long as they wished.

"You bet," Kim said. "Just have to swing by Team G.O. and turn in my walking papers. I warned her I wouldn't stay on if I found out she'd engaged in illegal activities. Museum robberies? Tsk tsk, Shego," she added, shaking her head.

Ron looked a little troubled, though. "I'm kinda worried about Yori," he said. "What if Shego drags her down with her? Yori's no criminal, but she has a contract with Shego, _and_ she has feelings for her. She might follow Shego all the way to prison."

Kim nodded. Her tenure at Team G.O. would never be classified under "fond memories", but Yori had never been anything other than professional, competent, friendly, and generous. "I don't know," she admitted. "I'll speak to Yori if she's there."

Yori wasn't there fifteen minutes later, however, and Kim sighed. Yori could certainly better, but from the way she'd observed Shego treating her, she understood how Yori could fall for her "Shego-chan".

But Shego's light was on.

"Kimmie," Shego muttered without opening her eyes. She was lying on her couch, the ultimate picture of indifference.

"Shego," Kim replied. "I'm resigning immediately. I already have a new assignment with GJ. I don't think you'll be making any breach-of-contract claims, not when I can have you arrested for stealing half of the Tempus Simia."

"Meh," Shego said. "I want you gone anyway. Where's the Monkey?"

"Awaiting surgery and two one-way tickets to the bottom of the sea."

"Huh. Two points for Betty. Unlike some people who wanted to change the past first chance they got."

"Yeah, well I - 'dealt with it'."

Shego snorted.

"Shego," Kim continued hesitantly, "there are no outstanding warrants against you. There won't be tomorrow. As long as you go on saving the day with Yori, and not breaking any laws, you'll still be a free woman. If you saw yourself in prison in the future, well, that's your own fault."

"Yes, Principal, I'll be a good girl from now on," Shego said snidely.

Kim shrugged. Nothing she said would matter. "Just - don't make Yori suffer for your mistakes, okay?"

Shego finally opened her eyes. "Yori? What the hell does she have to do with this?"

"I like her. So does Ron. We don't want her to become another casualty of your obsession with beating me. I'm not entirely sure _why_, but she cares about you, Shego. Much more than I realized, actually. She might even become a villain's sidekick for you. And she doesn't deserve that. I don't know - maybe if you cared more about yourself and her, and less about me, you'd find the happiness you're never going to get trying to beat me."

Shego actually seemed bewildered for a few moments, but then her eyes narrowed. "Always the condescending bitch, eh? Well, fuck you. Just fuck off and get out, okay? You don't know me."

"Oh, for the love - fine." Kim turned to leave. "See you in prison."

"Not if I see you first."

_Oooh, nice comeback_, she could have said, but she had her own life to focus on.

* * *

"Congratulations, Kim," Dr. Director told her. "Special Agent Possible in just under a year. And I have it on good authority that Ronald's promotion isn't too far off either."

"Really? That's spankin!"

"It's just too bad you can't participate in more covert operations," Dr. Director said. "You're both so recognizable that virtually anyone would recognize you."

"Well, I'm sure you have plenty of other agents for those," Kim said.

"I do. There are two women in particular who joined GJ not long after you did, and they've done splendidly. One is even earning a promotions of her own today. That's quite close to your own record time. So watch your back if you want to be sitting in my chair some day," she added, smiling.

"So not the drama," Kim assured her. "When's the next assignment?"

"Kim, the world can live without you for a day. Go celebrate with your partner. I'll see you at 0500 tomorrow."

Kim tossed off a quick salute before leaving.

Dr. Director leaned back in her chair and sighed. _The elaborate lengths I take to make GJ a better organization._ She activated the intercom. "Has Special Agent Possible left yet?"

"Yes, Dr. Director."

"All right, notify the other one that I want to see her." While waiting, she practiced what she'd say exactly. _"Congratulations, Special Agent Shego. A record number of successful covert missions this year. Keep that up, Shego, and you could be an even greater agent than Kim Possible." Just stroke her ego, pretend I don't know she's sleeping with her partner, and make sure she and Kim are NEVER in the same room together. Oh, Betty, the lengths you go to keep the world safer. _

_At least Kim and Ron didn't take me up on that bet._

The End.

Author's Note - At this point, I'm fresh out of ideas, and I have bigger demands on my time at this point. So I will be on hiatus for the foreseeable future. But thank you all for reading.

I like Ron/Yori, but I also really like Yori slash, and there is very little of it out there. That's how a story that was originally going to be Kigo became implied Shego/Yori.

And apologies to George Thorogood & the Destroyers. I borrowed from them in Chapter 7 without acknowledgement.


End file.
